advice from donors to donors
ova obscura is a study conducted with people who have donated eggs at a Canadian clinic since 2004. Between 2022-2023, our research team interviewed 53 egg donors (who had engaged in more than 130 donor cycles between them) about their experiences. This advice page, from donors to donors, is meant as a guide for folks considering eg donation. It contains sometimes conflicting advice, representing the diversity of experiences of the egg donors in our study.
general advice: before you decide
If you have extra eggs and you’re not planning on using them, why not donate? It has the potential to be the greatest honour of your life.
Do your research! Look at multiple sources— including donor communities such as We Are Egg Donors — for a full picture of the donation process.
Consult an unaffiliated therapist prior to making the decision to donate your eggs.
Take the time to meet and talk to donors to understand real-world experiences and challenges.
Ask all the questions; you have the right to.
Build an unbiased support system.
Never forget that the fertility industry is a lucrative business, and that sometimes informs peoples’ behaviour. Agencies, doctors and others may not tell you everything you want to know because they want you to follow through with your donation; the industry may not have your best interests at heart.
Go into the donation process ready to advocate for yourself.
Make sure there are clear lines of communication with each party involved with the donation.
Don’t rush the process: make this decision for yourself, not out of guilt, pressure or obligation.
Remember that you can back out of your donation at any time. No one can require you to undergo a medical procedure regardless of any commitments you may have made or your legal agreement.
advice for donors: emotional and ethical considerations
Consider the future feelings of the donor conceived child, especially when deciding whether to go with a known or anonymous donation.
Anonymous donation is evolving. With services like 23andMe, anonymity is not guaranteed as it once was.
Set clear boundaries. Decide how involved you want to be in the child’s life and communicate those boundaries firmly.
Reflect on ethical issues related to egg donation and childbirth: How do you feel about overpopulation? How do you feel about not having control over how the child is raised?
Be aware that not all donations result in live births. Be intentional and selective and wait for the right match that aligns with what you want from the process (such as updates, pictures, involvement in everyday life or no involvement at all).
advice for donors: reimbursement & compensation
Reflect on your motivations. It’s okay to donate for money, but consider factors beyond the monetary— egg donation is physically and emotionally demanding.
Don’t do it for the financial aspect alone.
Be a financial advocate for yourself.
advice for donors: health and future planning
Be aware that long-term health effects of egg donation are not fully understood— factor this into your decision.
Prepare emotionally: donation is not over once you do the retrieval, if your health changes or you discover a genetic disease, will you feel guilty or regret donating? Donation can have lasting psychological impacts, even if you’ve never struggled with mental health before.
Think about your future fertility: consider your own fertility and family planning before proceeding.
Be ready to adjust your usual routine: egg donation can temporarily affect physical and day-to-day life.
advice for donors: navigating clinics, doctors, and your care
Ask questions: understand the medications you’re taking, including side effects and dosages— don’t hesitate to speak up.
Choose your clinic wisely: public and private clinics can offer very different experiences. Select on that meets your needs for support and transparency.
Know your rights: you’re entitled to your medical test results and to be fully informed throughout the process.
Be aware that doctors may ask invasive and uncomfortable questions during this process.
If you are extremely afraid of needles, this may not be for you, but the injections get easier as you do them.
Advocate for yourself: be assertive about communicating your needs with the medical team. You are a patient too.
advice for donors: contracts, lawyers, and agencies
Know your legal rights: understand your legal and contractual rights before signing anything. Review all documents in full— don’t skip the fine print.
You have the right to make changes to the contract, talk to your lawyer about any changes you want to make.
Understand agency policies: get to know the agency’s policies before committing. Regardless, you can always change your mind.
Self-advocate: speak up, ask questions, and ensure you feel supported throughout the legal and agency process.